Missing

I always feel that this time of year we miss people who are no longer with us. I always think of my Grandma B. She loved Christmas and she made me fall in love with Christmas too. She was the manager of an apartment building for senior citizens. She loved it, and one of the things she loved so much about it was that she would decorate the entire building for holidays. Especially Christmas, there would be 7 Christmas trees throughout the building each with a different theme. The small tree she had in her apartment was blue and white decorated with lambs. There was a larger tree in the entry way with red beads and red and white ornaments. She had a large tree in the community room that was a traditional Christmas tree, and my favorite tree was the teddy bear tree. This tree was also in the community room, it was a smaller tree but it was all teddy bears, all different sizes and colors. I use to go and take them all off and line them up so I could see them, then I would put them all back on, and the next time I came over I would do it all over again for the off chance she added a new one. She would have trees up stairs too, with colored lights and bows. Among all the trees would be dolls in Christmas outfits that she would make. And like the trees they would be all different sizes and types. One i remember the most is a St. Lucia doll, she was a tall walking doll, and my grandma made a white long sleeved dress for her with a red sash. Atop this dolls head was a wreath of garland that held candles for St. Lucia, I loved this doll with her curled hair and pretty dress, I wanted a dress just like it.
I miss her very much, I have so many memories of my grandma and not just at Christmas, but I will always remember her love of Christmas.

Holiday Traditions

I love the holidays, there is something about the magic in the air that is contagious. People seem to be happier and nicer....OK I'm dreaming I know, what has happened to the spirit of the holidays? Everyone is worried about being politically correct and not offending someone and adjusting to the changes of family.
I wish I could go back to the holidays of my childhood, I am sure everyone would like to. Like a lot of things it is so much simpler then adulthood.  I am a person who is big on traditions, and my family now laughs at me for them. I am 31 and still get presents from Santa, I know that sounds silly but it connects me to the magic and the spirit of the Holiday. And yes I know the truth about Santa.
I remember always going to church on Christmas Eve after we had dinner with my Grandma B, and it is was the traditional Christmas Eve, the big meal, lots of family and lots of love and laughter. Afterwards it was to church, where we would sit in the church pew in the back that had the hymnals that were dedicated to my Grandfather. After Church it was home for Grass hoppers (it's a drink with ice cream and creme DE minth) the kids got the non alcoholic version, then it was off to bed to dream about what Santa was going to bring.
I was always the first one up, never fail. I would go to my sisters room and wake her, we started our own tradition of running to the tree but not opening anything. We would then go through our stocking and then  mom and dads!  Then we would wake mom and dad and then get to open presents.
After presents it was our traditional family breakfast of quiche, and fruit salad, cinnamon muffins and milk and orange juice as we watched the Disney Parade.
Then it was get dressed to head to Great Grandma Myrtles to visit with family for a full house of more food, family and laughter.
I miss it, I really miss all the family. My Grandma and my  Great Grandma have since passed, my sister is married  and traditions have changed, which is to be expected, but things have changed so drastically that some times it just feels like just another day.
Christmas isn't just another day, and I'm not just talking about presents, I am talking about family. Family means everything to me and family should not be apart on Christmas.
And yet now I go to church by myself, got to my godmothers house who's family doesn't welcome me and my family and then home to bed to wait for Santa, yet he has already come days earlier to leave his presents.
Christmas day is me waking up after the sleeping pill has worn off.
We still watch the parade, and have our Christmas morning breakfast, but I feel the spirit isn't there, there is no magic and my sister isn't there.
So as our family has changed and grown the traditions seem to change yearly and usually after an argument about whose home to go to. It is becoming harder and harder keep the spirit and magic of Christmas in our family.